One Decade Down

Oh, my sweet girl, where does the time go?

Can a decade simply be gone in the blink of an eye?

How I remember so well learning you were growing within me, and sharing such news with daddy. We talked with you, prayed over you, sang to you and read to you while your tiny, unborn body grew. When we held you as brand new parents, our hearts felt things they had never felt before.  A ferocious, protective love was born; a love like no other.  You made us "Mommy" and "Daddy" for the first time.

Sweet Ky, we have had so many, many reasons to rejoice with you over the course of your first decade.  You have a caring, loving, tender and compassionate heart that gives and shares so easily.  You embraced your baby brothers completely, and each and every foster child, and then, your little sisters.  You have given your life to Jesus, you love your friends passionately and you desire to serve and help others.  You turned into an amazing little gymnast with state champion titles and also a driven and hard working swimmer.  You always have love to give, and challenge us to do so as well!

We've also had hard times to hurt with you, moments when we'd give anything to take the pain and heartache away.  You struggled with understanding how your beloved cousin could suffer through cancer and it hurt you deeply.  Your heart was wrenched when your precious foster brother was returned to his family, after 19 months of your loving care and adoration.  Having to prepare your heart to say good bye once again to a cherished foster sister, only to learn at the end that a forever sister she would become.  We watched you struggle through your first gymnastics injury with such determination and strength, though emotionally it took quite a toll on you.  You have persevered, you have grown, you are maturing.

Kylee, we are so proud of the 10-year-old you!!  We take great delight in being your Mom and Dad.  We thank you for your kindness, your love, your patience, your compassion, your tenderness and your merciful heart.  You teach us so much, sweet girl!!  Here are some photos from your BIG-10 day!!

today - day 3

The Good:

B is learning to say "I'm sorry."

I made it to a play date with all 4 younger kids.

B "helped" with the laundry.

Both B and J are responding better to the limits and boundaries we have in place.

They both ate everything that was offered and made no requests for candy and soda.

J continues to be a complete cuddle bug and melts into us when we hold him.

B is responding well to positive correction and lots of love.

Our 5 kids continue to love and enjoy having B and J here!!

I was able to vacuum, do dishes, cook dinner and get 6 loads of laundry completed!

Getting B and J to sleep at bedtime only took 45 minutes tonight, rather than 1.5 - 2 hours!

B is now coming to us for affection and is opening up more.

They love to be tickled and have some of the best giggles.

The Bad:

Neither B or J could nap today, which made for a difficult afternoon.

There's no room for our new friends in the children's program at bible study, so I will have to discontinue the remainder of the year.

B loves being loved, but is challenging the limits to the love.

Two more things were broken today - working on treating things with respect.

B relayed some "owies" from her past that were hard to hear.

Carys was heard using the word "booty" and phrase "shut up".

I think my adrenaline is running out.

The Bittersweet:

I still haven't found "the grease" to do B's hair, but she was OK with an olive oil substitute.

B says she thinks she looks like me.

Today, we became "mama" and "daddy" to both B and J.

B "never wants to leave".

tough

Arms folded tightly across her chest, she gives me the stare down.  She sits upright in bed and communicates definitively with her eyes, "I will not lie down. I have no interest in doing what you say.  I will fight you and I intend to win."  No words are needed.  Her jaw is set and she is one determined and tough little girl.  She had proven it all day long - challenging, defying, pushing buttons.

"I understand, B.  You didn't ask to come here and you probably don't want to be here.  Everything is new and scary.  I'm sure you miss your mommy, and I know she misses you too.  She loves you, B, and we love having you here."

Eyes still set on mine, she jerks clenched little fists quickly up to her eyes, one right after the other, to wipe away tears she doesn't want me to see.  Because, you know, she's tough and will not let her guard down.  She's a fighter and weakness will not be allowed.

Soon my own cheeks are streaked and, unlike our new little love, I don't try to hide them.  Because I see before me a broken, hurt, alone and afraid little girl, no matter how she tries to disguise it.  My heart hurts for her.  This time when I scoop her up, she doesn't act repulsed and pull away.  Though her frown remains and her arms are still crossed, she lets me hold her.  Slowly, her head drops to my chest and her body relaxes.  It was our first break through.

2nd day with 7

Today felt glorious.  Busy, but glorious.  

We made it to church on time.

Our newest little additions did so very well in their classrooms.

We ate lunch out (Costco) and the kids were ecstatic.

We came home to dress up, ride bikes and play pet shop.

Naps actually happened today!

We had more outdoor play time, a dance party, bedtime tickle fights and SO MUCH  laughter.  

No one battled food today!

Little B is becoming more responsive to instruction!

Big boy J was talking in nearly full sentences!

Our 5 are still enjoying and loving the time with our friends here.

The kids are becoming more and more comfortable and bonding is definitely happening.

My heart was full and I felt ever so grateful to God for blessing us with such an opportunity to love.

Today was a really good day.

His wonderful work

I think I am starting to get it.

When we say, "We're done!" we have really have no idea.

Or control.

That is, if we follow Christ,

and we do.

For when we lay down our lives for Him,

His plans take over.

His purpose for our lives becomes all that matters.

So we surrender and choose to follow.

He changes our hearts to break for what burdens His.

And we cannot escape it, even if we try.

He reminds us of how short our life on earth is, compared with all eternity.

Perspectives change.

Priorities change.

Desires change.

He moves us to the point of saying, "yes, Lord!" even if it doesn't make sense,

even if it feels uncomfortable and scary,

and especially if it feels impossible.

Because then HIS glory is on display. 

And in our weakness, HE proves himself strong.

His plans are rarely "easy", but they are wonderful.

We know this full well.