Saturday, December 20, 2008

Love you forever...


I'll love you forever,


I'll like you for always,


As long as I'm living,


My babies you'll be.

~words by Robert Munsch~
Four years. How can that be?? My dear ones, what a joy it has been to watch you grow. You bring so much joy and laughter to my life and challenge me to live bigger, laugh louder, play harder than ever before!! I thank God for making you my little boys! Happy Birthday!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dark Chocolate Brown...


... is the color of the eyes that find my own each and every night as I wrap him in blankets and kiss him good night...the color of the eyes that form into smiley crescents when I walk into his room each morning as he bounces in his crib ... the color of the eyes that have learned to search for me in a room and the eyes that dance with joy when they find me because they belong to a little boy who has learned my face, my voice, my smell.

At 9 months old, our brown eyed baby boy is becoming attached. And though I love it when he takes off in his fastest crawl to follow me into the kitchen and cling to my leg, or reaches out for me when being held by someone else, it also breaks my heart. I am not his momma, but I am the face he sees every day; I am the hands that bathe him, feed him and change him; I am the arms that hold him when he's sad, mad, afraid and in need of comfort; we are the family that provides safety and security for this sweet, happy child.

It is hard for us to think of the day when our arms will have to release him to the great unknown... to a future that seems, well, complicated and insecure. Even though that day remains far down the road, the pain I feel at the thought of letting him go is so very real... especially when, in his eyes, I am known as "momma".


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Love has a new look

I can't deny that I am a hopeless romantic. I've always loved watching people fall in love, whether in movies or real life, and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity myself! As I've grown, my idea of "love" has changed. This is now what love is to me...


Kaden's self-written song
"Mommy, I love you up to heaven and back"


Kylee's love letters placed strategically throughout the house:
"Dad is nice"

This placed on Daddy's nightstand

This note was placed on my Bible to be found in the morning

Ky placed this on the kitchen counter on our anniversary


Colson helping Daddy shovel the driveway

  • a husband who jumps up to help me clean up steamed broccoli that somehow flew out of refrigerator in it's tuperware container and spilled all over the floor and onto my bare feet
  • a little boy who has missed his Daddy during a busy work week and comes to our room at 2AM just to say, "Daddy, I just wanted to tell you I love you."
  • another little boy who runs into my room fully dressed in his snow clothes telling me, "Mommy, I gotta go shovel the driveway for you so you can get the car out!"
  • a dear husband who tells me to call a friend and go out for coffee because I deserve a night out
  • the same husband who tells me that peanut butter and jelly is fine every night
  • a little girl who wants to sing "I'll love you forever" together, each and every night
  • a man who has seen me exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and sick, yet can still tell me just how very much he loves me.

This is a look of love that far exceeds my ideals,
and it's one that I hope not to take for granted my whole life long!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Touched by Kindness

Today was one of those days. Does everyone have them? Please tell me yes! Hubby and I were up well before the sun shoveling away 6 inches of snow from the driveway while our beloved snow blower was in the shop. It was a little frustrating to know that another 6 inches would be falling throughout the day, but we had places to be! After saying our lengthy good-byes to Daddy, I quickly finished tidying the house for an appraisal later in the day. Then I started the stressful process of gathering up, bundling up and buckling up all 4 kids to take Kylee to school. With everyone in the car I took a deep breath and tried to relax... I then turned the key and heard click, after click after click. Again and again I tried, but the engine wouldn't start. I panicked. I noticed my neighbor walking outside with his snowblower and asked if he could take my little girl to school. He was happy to oblige, and after arranging her booster in his car, they were off! I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to keep the 3 boys happy while they waited in the cold van for the neighbor to return. When he did, he pulled into my garage and jump started my van. I let him know how very grateful I was and he, who is newly retired, told me how wonderful it felt to be needed and helpful. How blessed I felt!

I carefully drove on very slippery roads (while Cole hollered, "Don't drive fast on the roads, Mommy! You might bonk the car and die!") and dropped the boys off with a friend. She had so graciously offered to watch them all while I went to an appointment and met up with Kylee at school for lunch. Such generosity!! In the middle of my appointment, I got a message from my husband saying the school had called and was closing the school down in less than an hour due to the intense snow storm. I hurried along to pick up a very disappointed daughter (she loves school!), then made my way to my friend's house to gather the boys. I took my time leaving so that the kids wouldn't get home and destroy the house before the appraisal. My timing was perfect... except that when I attempted to pull into our subdivision my van couldn't quite make it up the gentle slope and my wheels spun until I finally skid to a stop. Options of what to do ran through my mind, until a huge snow plow pulled up beside me, the driver jumped out and started pouring shovel fulls of sand in front of my tires. "There you go, now try again!" he told me. Shovel full after shovel full he helped me make my way up the road, much to my embarrassment. However, it was a wonderful encouragement to be shown such kindness from a stranger and the kids and I talked about it all the way home.

When I attempted to pull into the driveway, I saw the bank of snow left behind by the snow plow. Borrowing the boys imagination, I tried to turn my minivan into a rocket and fly over the pile of snow... but it didn't work. I got stuck, once again, and tires were spinning. Reassuring the kids, I ran up to the garage to grab the shovel and get the van out of the snow. Several moments later, I gleefully pulled into the garage, ran inside to throw on all the lights, make a last minute run through and listen to messages - one of which was from the appraiser and, of course, she had to cancel the appraisal. I understood - the weather was terrible - but, oh, all that time spent cleaning and tidying!!



The kids and I wasted no time grabbing our shovels and working together to, once again, clear the driveway from the continuously falling snow. Before long, our neighbor came out and was having trouble starting her snow blower; her husband was out of town and she had just received her last dose of chemotherapy for breast cancer the week before. We quickly abandoned our own driveway and got started on hers. The same neighbor who had rescued me earlier in the day also came out and helped to get her snowblower going and proceeded to clear her driveway. I visited with the neighbor, while my kids played with hers.


As I went to bed in the evening, I couldn't help but to be grateful for the many ways friends, neighbors and strangers had reached out in kindness.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

What Christmas is all about


This week has brought with it much Christmas activity! We've had Christmas programs at church, Christmas crafts, Christmas gift shopping and wrapping and Christmas parties... all part of what makes this time of year so fun and exciting! However, as we were getting the kids ready this morning for their performance on stage, the Christmas cheer was missing.

I stopped brushing hair, tucking in shirts and straightening ties. "Excuse me, but what is it we're celebrating here?" I asked. They knew the answer - Jesus' birthday. "That's right. And I believe that is what you are supposed to be celebrating as you sing today, right?" Several heads nodded in unison. I informed them that it didn't matter how nice they looked on the outside (the boys were really excited about the ties they had picked out for themselves!), if their hearts didn't have room for His joy then they couldn't go on stage to sing about it. Immediately smiles appeared and attitudes changed. "That's better. Let's not forget what Christmas is about."

After snapping a few Christmas photos with their improved attitudes, we were off to church and the program was wonderful. We were so touched that our dear neighbor, Mr. Jerry, came to watch the kids sing too! How blessed we are!






Per Papa's request, here are snippets of the kids performances:





This was the boys first time on stage and they had so much fun!!


Monday, December 1, 2008

7 years and counting

As a child, I remember hearing "how quickly" time passes and I never believed it. It seemed that I couldn't grow up fast enough and felt as though I'd never be an adult. But I am, and I now know that time truly does pass so quickly. Jim and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage! Is that possible? Maybe it is...

Our first year of marriage we found out we were expecting a baby girl...

Our second year of marriage we welcomed that baby girl into the world and moved from California to Oregon...

Our third year of marriage we learned we were pregnant with identical twin boys, moved from Oregon to Wisconsin and welcomed our baby boys into the world...

Our fourth year of marriage we stayed put, but changed a lot of diapers and drank a lot of coffee...

Our fifth year of marriage we watched our babies walk into toddlerhood and our toddler run into her preschool stage...

Our sixth year of marriage we potty trained twin boys (big accomplishment!!) and moved from one suburb to another with more space to roam and explore...

Our seventh year we became a foster family and welcomed a sweet baby boy into our home who has changed our lives and hearts forever.

Well, there they are - all 7 years accounted for! I suppose it must be, though I still cannot wrap my mind around it. Feels like yesterday.