I choose Jesus

This morning after quizzing the boys on their "first word flash cards", I opened up the Bible to review the story of Lazarus, which the boys heard yesterday at church. I started with the usual questions, "What do you remember?" "What do you think that means for you?" and they answered with varying degrees of interest - Colson, intent on remembering the details and applying it to his life; Kaden more interested in getting the discussion over with so that he could move on to other more fun things on the agenda.

We related Lazarus' resurrection to that of Jesus' just a short time later, and then to our own lives - that believing in Jesus will give us a life in which we may die on earth, but live forever in eternity with God. Colson stated, "I know this mom - that's why I keep telling you I want to ask Jesus in my heart but you never let me!"

Sound strange? Well, it's true. For the past couple weeks Colson has been telling me that he wants Jesus to live in his heart and has asked, "In the morning, will you pray with me, Mommy?" or, as we drive, "When we get home, can you please pray with me?" I respond, "of course!" but then I wait. Sometimes I even distract. It's not that I don't think a young child can believe, but I want it to be important enough to my child that they are insistent that it needs to be done; that they are desperate to be saved and to follow Jesus. I want to help them know and understand Jesus, but I want the decision and desire to follow Him to be their very own.

So, once again, I distract. "Sure, Cole, we can do that, but wouldn't you like to watch Sid the Science kid first?" Kaden proclaims enthusiastically, "Yeah - let's watch!" While Colson opposes my idea, "No, Mom, I want to ask Jesus in my heart!" Exactly what I was waiting for. I turn on the TV for Kaden, then take Cole's hand and walk with him to another room. We sit face to face, holding hands and I begin.

"Why do you want Jesus in your heart, Colson?"

"Because I want him to be my Savior."

"What do you need to be saved from?"

"All my sins, Mommy. Like not sharing and not obeying."

"That's right, Cole, but can't you just stop doing that and be good enough to be saved?"

"No, because I still can't stop!"

"What if you try really hard to be good?"

"No, I still can't."

"You're right, buddy, that's why Jesus came for us. What did He do for you, Colson?"

"He died on the cross to take away my sins and so I can live with him in heaven!"

"That's right, but how do you think we should live on earth before we get to heaven?"

"Loving others and helping people."

"That's right, but sometimes it's not easy to do! Do you know that if we follow Jesus, He promises to help you? You just have to ask."

Colson nods, then asks, "can we pray now, Mom?"

We bow our heads and I begin. Colson takes his time as he prays, so thoughtful about every word. I am surprised that emotion actually fills him as his voice quivers through his words and his requests. At the end, both of us have eyes shining with joyful tears and we embrace. "Sweetie, I am so happy for you. That is the best decision you could ever make!" His face lights up and he wants to call his loved ones and share this exciting news. "I asked Jesus in my heart, I am saved!" He declares.

Each of us has to make our own personal decision to follow Christ, or to reject Him as Lord and Savior. I am so grateful that today, my son chose to follow Jesus.

because i love you

Because I love you, Kaden, I will wear, with pride, my string and button necklace that you so carefully and lovingly made for me. Though it holds no value to anyone but me, I know that wearing it makes you know, my dear, how much I value you. I love you, Kaden. Thank you for helping to fulfill this dream of mine to be a mommy and for giving me a gift so sweet that so preciously declares from my neckline, "I am a mom."

love it

Just for fun

I was browsing through some old home videos and found this from a couple years ago. I was doing my best not to laugh as I recorded the kids. This is part of what makes motherhood so fun. Ky was almost 4, Colson was 2.

when my heart is breaking

Today as I drove with my boys, we were listening to the radio and heard this awesome song called "Your Hands" by JJ Heller.

While listening, Colson pipes in from the back, "Mom, my heart is breaking." I ask him why, to which he responds, "Because I miss Adrian, Mom. I want him to come back so bad."

Oh, how well I understand the pain. "I know, Sweetie, I miss him too." I look into the rear view mirror at my son's face fighting emotion and tears instantly fill my eyes.

Kaden then jumps in, "Well, my heart is already broken into so many pieces all over the floor!"

Though the answer might appear to be obvious, my Kaden can be a bit off beat and I never know what he is thinking, so I ask, "What's breaking your heart, Kade?"

"I miss Adrian too. Why can't he stay with us all the way until we go up into heaven?" Kaden answers, " I want him to come back!"

As we continue to drive, we pray for Adrian, and I pray for my boys to feel loved and comforted. When we arrive home, I pull a sobbing Colson in my arms and hold him tight, reminding him that God cares so much and holds him so tightly in His hands. Kaden states, "Oh, man, you guys are almost going to make me cry!" He always knows how to lighten the mood.

My prayer for my kids throughout this time has not been that they wouldn't hurt, but that when they do, they will feel comforted; that they will always be able to look back and remember experiencing God as a God of great comfort. Because He is... and He longs to comfort us.

"Praise be to God, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
II Corinthians 1:3-4

Twenty-Ten

Our family is so excited to usher in a new year and experience what God has in store for us in 2010! We were able to enjoy incredible blessings in 2009, for which we are so very grateful!! We had a nephew finish and win his fight against leukemia; we had a sister and her family move to Indonesia and start their journey of language learning and church planting with New Tribes; we had a sister return to a relationship with her heavenly Father - all so very exciting!!!

"Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" Job 2:10

However, as much as we believe that God is good at all times, we also know that He allows difficulties to enter into our lives to help grow and change us. 2009 was a year that we will also remember for the turbulent times we shared as a family.

Though once again I had to endure a debilitating disease and the frustration that accompanied, it was a year when I got to witness true, selfless service and unconditional love the way God intended. My husband fulfilled his promise to love me for better and for worse, in sickness and in health as he cared for me, the home, our kids. My children grew in compassion and service and had the opportunity to rejoice when they saw their prayers answered for mommy to be able to walk and play again.

2009 was also the year that we experienced true heartache and loss as we said good bye to our sweet Adrian, the foster son and brother we adored for 18 full months. With great excitement, we had taken him in as a newborn; with both triumph and struggle we cared for his needs; and with great pain and tears, we returned him to his home. We hurt, grieved, cried, and prayed. We were surrounded with friends and family who supported us while we cared for him, loved him alongside us and who also felt the sting of his departure. We couldn't have done it without them! How grateful we are to God for allowing us this time with this precious little boy, and for His great gifts of supportive family and friends!!

Because of God's great love and sacrifice on our behalf, we hope that no matter what comes our way this year we will be able to stand firm, trust Him and hold onto the hope that He offers. If it be a year of abundant blessing, may we not fail in being grateful to the One to whom it is due. If it be a year of trials, tribulation and suffering, may we not fail in trusting in God's faithfulness and in clinging wholeheartedly to Him.

Christmas Together

This year, we were able to have Jim's family out our way! We were excited to have Grammy, Poppy, Aunt Julie and cousin Trent out to celebrate Christmas and the New Year with us! We love our family - it's so great to be together!!

What a wonderful time together!! Thank you for visiting us and making wonderful memories to remember forever!!