Love you forever...

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living,

My babies you'll be.

~words by Robert Munsch~

Four years. How can that be?? My dear ones, what a joy it has been to watch you grow. You bring so much joy and laughter to my life and challenge me to live bigger, laugh louder, play harder than ever before!! I thank God for making you my little boys! Happy Birthday!

Dark Chocolate Brown...

... is the color of the eyes that find my own each and every night as I wrap him in blankets and kiss him good night...the color of the eyes that form into smiley crescents when I walk into his room each morning as he bounces in his crib ... the color of the eyes that have learned to search for me in a room and the eyes that dance with joy when they find me because they belong to a little boy who has learned my face, my voice, my smell.

At 9 months old, our brown eyed baby boy is becoming attached. And though I love it when he takes off in his fastest crawl to follow me into the kitchen and cling to my leg, or reaches out for me when being held by someone else, it also breaks my heart. I am not his momma, but I am the face he sees every day; I am the hands that bathe him, feed him and change him; I am the arms that hold him when he's sad, mad, afraid and in need of comfort; we are the family that provides safety and security for this sweet, happy child.

It is hard for us to think of the day when our arms will have to release him to the great unknown... to a future that seems, well, complicated and insecure. Even though that day remains far down the road, the pain I feel at the thought of letting him go is so very real... especially when, in his eyes, I am known as "momma".

Love has a new look

I can't deny that I am a hopeless romantic. I've always loved watching people fall in love, whether in movies or real life, and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity myself! As I've grown, my idea of "love" has changed. This is now what love is to me...

Kaden's self-written song
"Mommy, I love you up to heaven and back"


Kylee's love letters placed strategically throughout the house:
"Dad is nice"

This placed on Daddy's nightstand

This note was placed on my Bible to be found in the morning

Ky placed this on the kitchen counter on our anniversary


Colson helping Daddy shovel the driveway

• a husband who jumps up to help me clean up steamed broccoli that somehow flew out of refrigerator in it's tuperware container and spilled all over the floor and onto my bare feet

• a little boy who has missed his Daddy during a busy work week and comes to our room at 2AM just to say, "Daddy, I just wanted to tell you I love you."

• another little boy who runs into my room fully dressed in his snow clothes telling me, "Mommy, I gotta go shovel the driveway for you so you can get the car out!"

• a dear husband who tells me to call a friend and go out for coffee because I deserve a night out

• the same husband who tells me that peanut butter and jelly is fine every night
  

• a little girl who wants to sing "I'll love you forever" together, each and every night
  

• a man who has seen me exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and sick, yet can still tell me just how very much he loves me.

This is a look of love that far exceeds my ideals,
and it's one that I hope not to take for granted my whole life long!

Touched by Kindness

Today was one of those days. Does everyone have them? Please tell me yes! Hubby and I were up well before the sun shoveling away 6 inches of snow from the driveway while our beloved snow blower was in the shop. It was a little frustrating to know that another 6 inches would be falling throughout the day, but we had places to be! After saying our lengthy good-byes to Daddy, I quickly finished tidying the house for an appraisal later in the day. Then I started the stressful process of gathering up, bundling up and buckling up all 4 kids to take Kylee to school. With everyone in the car I took a deep breath and tried to relax... I then turned the key and heard click, after click after click. Again and again I tried, but the engine wouldn't start. I panicked. I noticed my neighbor walking outside with his snowblower and asked if he could take my little girl to school. He was happy to oblige, and after arranging her booster in his car, they were off! I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to keep the 3 boys happy while they waited in the cold van for the neighbor to return. When he did, he pulled into my garage and jump started my van. I let him know how very grateful I was and he, who is newly retired, told me how wonderful it felt to be needed and helpful. How blessed I felt!

I carefully drove on very slippery roads (while Cole hollered, "Don't drive fast on the roads, Mommy! You might bonk the car and die!") and dropped the boys off with a friend. She had so graciously offered to watch them all while I went to an appointment and met up with Kylee at school for lunch. Such generosity!! In the middle of my appointment, I got a message from my husband saying the school had called and was closing the school down in less than an hour due to the intense snow storm. I hurried along to pick up a very disappointed daughter (she loves school!), then made my way to my friend's house to gather the boys. I took my time leaving so that the kids wouldn't get home and destroy the house before the appraisal. My timing was perfect... except that when I attempted to pull into our subdivision my van couldn't quite make it up the gentle slope and my wheels spun until I finally skid to a stop. Options of what to do ran through my mind, until a huge snow plow pulled up beside me, the driver jumped out and started pouring shovel fulls of sand in front of my tires. "There you go, now try again!" he told me. Shovel full after shovel full he helped me make my way up the road, much to my embarrassment. However, it was a wonderful encouragement to be shown such kindness from a stranger and the kids and I talked about it all the way home.

When I attempted to pull into the driveway, I saw the bank of snow left behind by the snow plow. Borrowing the boys imagination, I tried to turn my minivan into a rocket and fly over the pile of snow... but it didn't work. I got stuck, once again, and tires were spinning. Reassuring the kids, I ran up to the garage to grab the shovel and get the van out of the snow. Several moments later, I gleefully pulled into the garage, ran inside to throw on all the lights, make a last minute run through and listen to messages - one of which was from the appraiser and, of course, she had to cancel the appraisal. I understood - the weather was terrible - but, oh, all that time spent cleaning and tidying!!



The kids and I wasted no time grabbing our shovels and working together to, once again, clear the driveway from the continuously falling snow. Before long, our neighbor came out and was having trouble starting her snow blower; her husband was out of town and she had just received her last dose of chemotherapy for breast cancer the week before. We quickly abandoned our own driveway and got started on hers. The same neighbor who had rescued me earlier in the day also came out and helped to get her snowblower going and proceeded to clear her driveway. I visited with the neighbor, while my kids played with hers.

As I went to bed in the evening, I couldn't help but to be grateful for the many ways friends, neighbors and strangers had reached out in kindness.

What Christmas is all about

This week has brought with it much Christmas activity! We've had Christmas programs at church, Christmas crafts, Christmas gift shopping and wrapping and Christmas parties... all part of what makes this time of year so fun and exciting! However, as we were getting the kids ready this morning for their performance on stage, the Christmas cheer was missing.

I stopped brushing hair, tucking in shirts and straightening ties. "Excuse me, but what is it we're celebrating here?" I asked. They knew the answer - Jesus' birthday. "That's right. And I believe that is what you are supposed to be celebrating as you sing today, right?" Several heads nodded in unison. I informed them that it didn't matter how nice they looked on the outside (the boys were really excited about the ties they had picked out for themselves!), if their hearts didn't have room for His joy then they couldn't go on stage to sing about it. Immediately smiles appeared and attitudes changed. "That's better. Let's not forget what Christmas is about."

After snapping a few Christmas photos with their improved attitudes, we were off to church and the program was wonderful. We were so touched that our dear neighbor, Mr. Jerry, came to watch the kids sing too! How blessed we are!

Per Papa's request, here are snippets of the kids performances:

This was the boys first time on stage and they had so much fun!!

7 years and counting

As a child, I remember hearing "how quickly" time passes and I never believed it. It seemed that I couldn't grow up fast enough and felt as though I'd never be an adult. But I am, and I now know that time truly does pass so quickly. Jim and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage! Is that possible? Maybe it is...

Our first year of marriage we found out we were expecting a baby girl...

Our second year of marriage we welcomed that baby girl into the world and moved from California to Oregon...

Our third year of marriage we learned we were pregnant with identical twin boys, moved from Oregon to Wisconsin and welcomed our baby boys into the world...

Our fourth year of marriage we stayed put, but changed a lot of diapers and drank a lot of coffee...

Our fifth year of marriage we watched our babies walk into toddlerhood and our toddler run into her preschool stage...

Our sixth year of marriage we potty trained twin boys (big accomplishment!!) and moved from one suburb to another with more space to roam and explore...

Our seventh year we became a foster family and welcomed a sweet baby boy into our home who has changed our lives and hearts forever.

Well, there they are - all 7 years accounted for! I suppose it must be, though I still cannot wrap my mind around it. Feels like yesterday.

Living our fairy tale

The day after Thanksgiving, I am finding, is becoming my favorite day of the year. We have created a tradition of making this day our Christmas decorating day. On this particular Friday, we were driving towards the tree farm, all bundled up, blasting the Christmas music and singing at the top of our lungs. I looked behind me at the 4 carseats full of silly kids I adored and realized something. Since the time I was a little girl, I dreamed incessantly of being married and having a family. And here I was, living out my "fairy tale". There sat my devoted husband beside me, laughing and rolling his eyes playfully at our Christmas giddiness. Our minivan was full of sounds that I had always anticipated - giggling, goofy children enjoying each other and loving life! This was the life I had always looked forward to and I was living it!

The warmth and joy I felt in that moment continued to flow as we hiked our way through the snow to find our perfect tree; as we returned home, pulled out our Christmas boxes and filled the home with ornaments, lights, boughs and stockings; as I watched our boys race their bikes alongside their Daddy's great stride down the street, after deciding they needed some "man time"; as Kylee and I donned our aprons and set out to start our holiday baking; as the baby took in the bright Christmas lights with awe and wonder for the first time in his life; as we started a fire and enjoyed it's warmth, while cuddling upon the couch for a movie. Yes, it was a wonderful day. I am so thankful for the bounty of blessings I have been given!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Being so far from family, we wonder every year what our Thanksgiving celebration will hold. We are so thankful that we've had friends or family to share this special day with for the past 5 years now. We have always asked around to find others who are unable to make it "home" and invite them over! This year, we were excited to have our friends the Flintons join us in a Thanksgiving feast!

Troy, Connie, Trevor (5) and Brendon (2.5)

All the kids - Trevor and Kylee (5), Brendon (2), Kaden and Colson (nearly 4)

The annual turkey and turkey carving photos...

We had a fun day of food, football and playtime in the snow and were grateful for all that we have been blessed with!! Now that my husband is done doing all the dishes (thank you, honey!!) it's off to bed!! :O)

You know you live in Wisconsin when...

Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells.

You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You define -20 degrees F "a little chilly."

You know all four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.

You refer to the Packers as "we."

You know several families who work on a dairy farm.

Down South to you means Chicago.

A brat is something you eat.

You can actually pronounce Oconomowoc, Mukwanago, and Sheboygan.

You go out for fish fry every Friday.

You can recognize someone from Illinois or Iowa by their driving.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You’ve considered voting Brett Favre for president.

You define Summer as three months of bad sledding.

You have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.

Every sweatshirt you own is either red and white or green and gold.

You own at least one cheese head.

Sunday afternoons are sacred for the Packer game.

You have experienced snow storms in May.

You have had school closed due to wind chills and frostbite warnings.

Someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair.

Sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

The trunk of you car doubles as a deep freezer.

You drive 65 miles per hour through snow without flinching.

You buy your Christmas presents at Farm and Fleet or Fleet Farm.

You actually get these jokes!

I'm dreaming of a white...

Thanksgiving????

We were so surprised yesterday to wake up to a winter wonderland! In the past 4 years we have lived here, this is the earliest snowfall we've had! The kids, of course, were ecstatic, but Daddy had to get to snow blowing and shoveling right away as I rushed around inside digging through last year's snow gear (which I swear we just put away!), getting Kylee ready for school, and making our special "first snow of the year" hot cocoa. After a visit from the social worker, we were able to bundle up and head outdoors to enjoy the white stuff! The boys were in heaven!

So proud of their snowman!


Heading off for another adventure in the woods

Kaden appearing with a handful of sticks

Colson - all smiles!!

Kaden, having fun

Time for sledding!!

Our little backyard sledding hill

Blessings, Burdens and the Power of Prayer

I got a call from my mom with sad news regarding one of my sisters. When we hung up, I told my boys it was time to hit our knees and pray for Paul and Sheila, who just lost the baby that was growing inside her tummy. I asked the boys if there was anything else they would like to pray for.

"Yes, Baby A!" Colson shouted.

"Absolutely, we'll pray for him and for his family."

"But I don't want A. to go back to his family, I want him to stay here and be our son!" Cole pleaded.

"Yah, I want A. to stay here forever with us!" Kaden agreed.

I again explained to them the process of fostering and comforted them with the fact that we still had several more months to enjoy our baby further. "Anything more you'd like to pray for, boys? Anything on your mind and hearts?"

"Let's pray for Kylee because she's sick!" Kaden suggested.

"Well, she was sick last week and we prayed and now she's better. We can thank God for making her body healthy again! Didn't he make our bodies in amazing ways?"

"Yes, but can we pray for all the little babies who die in their mommies tummies? I want to pray for them!" My sweet Colson and his tender heart always gets to me.

"Of course, baby, we'll pray for the babies and their families too."

funnies

"I'll be your Savior Kaden!" Kylee shouted, helping him across the parking lot.

****

"Oh NO! The baby!" When Colson saw grocery cart rolling backwards, with A's baby seat inside.

****

While on a family walk, this conversation ensued:
Kaden - "Thank you, God, for this beautiful day!"
Colson - "Thank you, God for this whole wide world!"
Kaden - "Thank you for making my mommy!"
Colson - "And please give toys and food to all the kids who don't have any!"

****

Colson - "Mommy, did Jesus save me?"
Me - "Yes, He did. Do you know what He saved you from?"
Colson - "Oh yeah! Lions and tigers!"

****

As we were leavning Target, I asked Kaden if I could hold his hand. His exuberant response both surprised and melted me.

"Oh yeah, Mommy, Thank you! I LOVE MY MOMMY!"

****

Kylee - "I love Pete Mandrion! He is a great artist! I love his colors, shapes and style. Daddy, did you know that I'm learning to be an author and an illustrator?"

****

Kaden knew I was dreading winter... even though it was only September. He tried to convince me, "But you can have fun and play in the snow, Mom! You can make snowballs, snowball fights, go sledding and everything!"

****

Sometimes, just to get their energy out, I have the boys run laps in the backyard. After one such lap running adventure, Kaden declared, "I ran all out of exercise!!!"

****

Colson's favorite song currently is "If we are His body". His favorite line is, "if we are His feet, why aren't His feet walking?" After hearing the song and the line on the radio, he responded to no one in particular, "My feet are walking to the airport to find a missionary plane to fly to Africa!"

****

Kaden thought it would be cool to sleep in undies and a T-shirt like his Daddy, but Colson didn't think it was such a great idea. "Cole, why aren't you going to bed like Daddy?"
Colson replied, "Cuz Daddy lets mommy see his underwear!"

****

Kylee was sick with the tummy flu and still wanted to eat. I explained to her I couldn't let her eat until she stopped vomiting. Kaden didn't agree, "Mom! If you don't feed Kylee she will starve and die!!"

****

Kylee's fav quotes - "goodness sakes", "holy smokes", "that's awesome!" and "That's what I'm talking about!"

Colson, my tenderheart

I love to tiptoe into the darkened bedrooms to plant kisses on the cheeks and foreheads of my sleeping children. They always appear so angelic and any frustrations from earlier seem to melt away. Last evening I stared a little longer at Colson's face, barely illuminated by the hallway light. With Kylee starting school, he has really matured and I have loved seeing the little man he is becoming. He may be only 3, but he is one focused, determined, responsible and tenderhearted little boy!

As I sat on his bed and stroked his hair, recent memories of my little boy filled my mind...

How many mornings he has come into our bedroom, fully dressed, announcing proudly that his bed is already made... how excited he gets when he discovers an empty toilet paper roll, because he loves to gather the TP and fill the roll... how seriously he takes his Cubbies, working so hard on his verses and making sure he receives all the stickers, signatures and patches that he earned... how much he desires to "let Jesus win" the battle for his heart when he chooses to obey and love his brother rather than disobey and fight... how he runs to the baby's side whenever he wimpers... how his heart is drawn towards Africa and hurts for all the poor and sick children there... how he asked if God might have forgotten about Africa... how determined he is to be a missionary pilot and fly food, toys, clothes and money to the kids there when he grows up... how so many times he chooses to put his brother and sister's needs above his own.

My sweet boy. We've certainly had our hard times in raising our sensitive Cole, but lately he has shown maturity and has given me so many reasons to thank God for making him my little, tender hearted boy. We are blessed!