Just one month ago, we sat in a room on the other side of the world signing papers to make Toben Ji You our son. Only a month. Though we were but strangers, he was so very eager... I now know, as we are no longer strangers, that eagerness is a consistent part of who he is.
Eager for a family.
Eager to come to the United States.
Eager to start school.
Eager to learn English.
Eager to wake up every morning and eat breakfast. (always eager to eat!)
Eager to make friends.
How wonderful it has been to get to know this son of ours - to hear his giggles bursting out of pure joy; to watch him completely embrace his family with enthusiasm and pride; to see him engage and connect however he can with everyone around him; to watch him bond to his siblings, his family, his friends; to know his fears; to wipe away his tears; to hold him tightly during medical procedures, so grateful he is no longer alone; to watch as he enjoys so many "firsts" and relishes in the love of a father; to witness his insatiable desire for attention and affection, and to see him thrive in being loved and delighted over.
He is outgoing.
He is friendly.
He is talkative.
He is expressive.
He is happy and joyful.
He is silly and loves to laugh.
He is full of never ending energy.
He is bright.
He is brave.
He is affectionate.
He is tiny.
He is strong.
I've memorized the curves of his sweet profile and the shape of his eyes, I know exactly what his small hand feels like in mine, and I have fallen in love with his smile. I know the sound of his voice, and love all of his sweet inflections.
He loves Christmas.
He loves head scratches and back scratches.
He loves light.
He loves games.
He loves to eat. Especially chicken, fish, potatoes and chocolate.
He loves going to school.
He loves to say "I love you"... "hundreds of I love yous!!!!"
He loves being known.
He loves knowing others.
But most of all, he says, he loves his family.
There has been SO much laughter and such joy as we've learned and grown together in our new little family of eight. I have rejoiced so very often and have frequently shed tears of gratitude.
Of course we've experienced frustrations, fears, and misunderstandings as well. Not only is our Toben 11 years old and used to fending for himself, but he has gone through SO much transition in just 4 weeks and there is much to be learned by all eight of us. We are learning to share, to sacrifice, to show grace and patience, to bear with one another in weaknesses, to work together, to communicate effectively, to create healthy boundaries... and it comes with much work and effort on everyone's part. But it's happening, and beauty is being exposed through this refining process.
I'm so grateful - grateful to be his family, and grateful to be loved by him.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
the journey begins...
It was February 29th when I first saw the profile of my soon-to-be-son pop up on my Facebook newsfeed. Jim and I had just sat down with bowls of ice cream, hoping to catch up on the news when I first saw his face. I read his story, as I often do, and my heart was moved, as it always is. Already immersed in the foster/adoption world, seeing the profiles of children in need of families happens often, but it hurts every time. I understand that we cannot become the family to every one of the 153 million orphaned children in the world, but still my heart breaks for every one of them to know the love, commitment and devotion of a family. And so I take a moment and just silently pray for the children I see.
This time, I also passed the laptop to Jim and said, "Oh, Jim..."
He took the computer and I studied his face as he read about this 10 year old Chinese boy, abandoned at 1.5 years old because of a genetic blood disorder that required lifetime medical management. As an orphan for the past 9 years, he was not receiving adequate care for his condition, and therefore, his life expectancy would be no greater than 20 years old. Half his life already lived?! But, adoption was his chance at life. With adoption came the opportunity to receive proper management of his condition and to prolong his life well past 20 years old. He needed medical care to live. And he also needed a mommy and daddy to love him. This boy needed to be adopted.
With misty eyes, Jim handed the computer back to me. He calmly and confidently said, "See if you can find out more about him."
A quick email to the social worker and a phone call the next day informed us that there was a family who had his file and was considering proceeding with adoption. We were elated that this boy could possibly have a family and rejoiced... though the kids had hoped the family would be ours. "How do we know that this family will tell him all about Jesus and his love?" one of my sons asked me. "We can just pray," was my response. And pray for him we did.
On Monday, March 7th, we celebrated my daughter's 13th birthday. All she wanted, she said, was to be this little boy's big sister... she no longer had any gift wishes, except for him. As I sent her off to school that morning, we had no idea what the next couple hours had in store and how our lives were about to forever change.
A call from the social worker just after lunch brought words I was not expecting, "the other family has decided to pass. Would you like to proceed?" For several moments, I couldn't quite breathe ... but these words from Jim, spoken with great certainty and clarity sealed the deal, ""He needs a family. Let's go get him and bring him home."
We didn't know at the time the mountains of paperwork that lay before us, the astronomical fees and payments that would need to be made, or the lengthy amount of time it would take both working feverishly and waiting with great longing... But, it didn't matter. God had lead us to this little boy, He broke our hearts for him and created a passion to make him our son and give him the care he so desperately needed and deserved. No matter how daunting the task, our lives belong to Christ and we trust Him to lead us on this journey to our son. Obedience may not be easy, but it brings abundant joy and purposeful life. We look forward with great hope to God growing our family again.
https://youtu.be/I8_BAZHNpvw
This time, I also passed the laptop to Jim and said, "Oh, Jim..."
He took the computer and I studied his face as he read about this 10 year old Chinese boy, abandoned at 1.5 years old because of a genetic blood disorder that required lifetime medical management. As an orphan for the past 9 years, he was not receiving adequate care for his condition, and therefore, his life expectancy would be no greater than 20 years old. Half his life already lived?! But, adoption was his chance at life. With adoption came the opportunity to receive proper management of his condition and to prolong his life well past 20 years old. He needed medical care to live. And he also needed a mommy and daddy to love him. This boy needed to be adopted.
With misty eyes, Jim handed the computer back to me. He calmly and confidently said, "See if you can find out more about him."
A quick email to the social worker and a phone call the next day informed us that there was a family who had his file and was considering proceeding with adoption. We were elated that this boy could possibly have a family and rejoiced... though the kids had hoped the family would be ours. "How do we know that this family will tell him all about Jesus and his love?" one of my sons asked me. "We can just pray," was my response. And pray for him we did.
On Monday, March 7th, we celebrated my daughter's 13th birthday. All she wanted, she said, was to be this little boy's big sister... she no longer had any gift wishes, except for him. As I sent her off to school that morning, we had no idea what the next couple hours had in store and how our lives were about to forever change.
A call from the social worker just after lunch brought words I was not expecting, "the other family has decided to pass. Would you like to proceed?" For several moments, I couldn't quite breathe ... but these words from Jim, spoken with great certainty and clarity sealed the deal, ""He needs a family. Let's go get him and bring him home."
We didn't know at the time the mountains of paperwork that lay before us, the astronomical fees and payments that would need to be made, or the lengthy amount of time it would take both working feverishly and waiting with great longing... But, it didn't matter. God had lead us to this little boy, He broke our hearts for him and created a passion to make him our son and give him the care he so desperately needed and deserved. No matter how daunting the task, our lives belong to Christ and we trust Him to lead us on this journey to our son. Obedience may not be easy, but it brings abundant joy and purposeful life. We look forward with great hope to God growing our family again.
https://youtu.be/I8_BAZHNpvw
Friday, April 15, 2016
my boy
God did it again. He got ahold of our hearts and directed them to a child, a ten year old little boy, to pursue as our son. We weren't looking for this... it wasn't on our radar at all, actually. But...
God has shown us His precious heart for the fatherless in His word; He's allowed us to know and love and welcome little ones who've been orphaned; and we are AMAZED, absolutely astonished, by the LOVE God has for the weakest, neediest, most defenseless in the world. In loving them, we have seen HIM more clearly.
It is beautiful. His love is overwhelming.
We see the need, we know the statistics. Our hearts break for the children without families to love them. No one to belong to, no one to comfort them. No one to call them precious, beloved, mine.
We know our purpose: Love God, Love others, show them Jesus.
His love compels us and we can't help but plead with Him to use us to love these precious ones to Him belong...
...and He does. Despite our weaknesses and faults and limitations.
That is beautiful. And humbling.
My Mama's heart is overwhelmed with pride for this little boy whom I will call my son.
My precious Toben Ji-You. Thank you, Jesus, for him.
God has shown us His precious heart for the fatherless in His word; He's allowed us to know and love and welcome little ones who've been orphaned; and we are AMAZED, absolutely astonished, by the LOVE God has for the weakest, neediest, most defenseless in the world. In loving them, we have seen HIM more clearly.
It is beautiful. His love is overwhelming.
We see the need, we know the statistics. Our hearts break for the children without families to love them. No one to belong to, no one to comfort them. No one to call them precious, beloved, mine.
We know our purpose: Love God, Love others, show them Jesus.
His love compels us and we can't help but plead with Him to use us to love these precious ones to Him belong...
...and He does. Despite our weaknesses and faults and limitations.
That is beautiful. And humbling.
My Mama's heart is overwhelmed with pride for this little boy whom I will call my son.
My precious Toben Ji-You. Thank you, Jesus, for him.
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