Just one month ago, we sat in a room on the other side of the world signing papers to make Toben Ji You our son. Only a month. Though we were but strangers, he was so very eager... I now know, as we are no longer strangers, that eagerness is a consistent part of who he is.
Eager for a family.
Eager to come to the United States.
Eager to start school.
Eager to learn English.
Eager to wake up every morning and eat breakfast. (always eager to eat!)
Eager to make friends.
How wonderful it has been to get to know this son of ours - to hear his giggles bursting out of pure joy; to watch him completely embrace his family with enthusiasm and pride; to see him engage and connect however he can with everyone around him; to watch him bond to his siblings, his family, his friends; to know his fears; to wipe away his tears; to hold him tightly during medical procedures, so grateful he is no longer alone; to watch as he enjoys so many "firsts" and relishes in the love of a father; to witness his insatiable desire for attention and affection, and to see him thrive in being loved and delighted over.
He is outgoing.
He is friendly.
He is talkative.
He is expressive.
He is happy and joyful.
He is silly and loves to laugh.
He is full of never ending energy.
He is bright.
He is brave.
He is affectionate.
He is tiny.
He is strong.
I've memorized the curves of his sweet profile and the shape of his eyes, I know exactly what his small hand feels like in mine, and I have fallen in love with his smile. I know the sound of his voice, and love all of his sweet inflections.
He loves Christmas.
He loves head scratches and back scratches.
He loves light.
He loves games.
He loves to eat. Especially chicken, fish, potatoes and chocolate.
He loves going to school.
He loves to say "I love you"... "hundreds of I love yous!!!!"
He loves being known.
He loves knowing others.
But most of all, he says, he loves his family.
There has been SO much laughter and such joy as we've learned and grown together in our new little family of eight. I have rejoiced so very often and have frequently shed tears of gratitude.
Of course we've experienced frustrations, fears, and misunderstandings as well. Not only is our Toben 11 years old and used to fending for himself, but he has gone through SO much transition in just 4 weeks and there is much to be learned by all eight of us. We are learning to share, to sacrifice, to show grace and patience, to bear with one another in weaknesses, to work together, to communicate effectively, to create healthy boundaries... and it comes with much work and effort on everyone's part. But it's happening, and beauty is being exposed through this refining process.
I'm so grateful - grateful to be his family, and grateful to be loved by him.
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