... is the color of the eyes that find my own each and every night as I wrap him in blankets and kiss him good night...the color of the eyes that form into smiley crescents when I walk into his room each morning as he bounces in his crib ... the color of the eyes that have learned to search for me in a room and the eyes that dance with joy when they find me because they belong to a little boy who has learned my face, my voice, my smell.
At 9 months old, our brown eyed baby boy is becoming attached. And though I love it when he takes off in his fastest crawl to follow me into the kitchen and cling to my leg, or reaches out for me when being held by someone else, it also breaks my heart. I am not his momma, but I am the face he sees every day; I am the hands that bathe him, feed him and change him; I am the arms that hold him when he's sad, mad, afraid and in need of comfort; we are the family that provides safety and security for this sweet, happy child.
It is hard for us to think of the day when our arms will have to release him to the great unknown... to a future that seems, well, complicated and insecure. Even though that day remains far down the road, the pain I feel at the thought of letting him go is so very real... especially when, in his eyes, I am known as "momma".
5 comments:
ok. i wasn't ready for this. i thought it was great that you were willing to care for a baby whose parents were having difficulty. but the attachment you describe has me crying as i realize the pain he'll feel when you have to leave him. thanks for a sensitive, loving dose of reality, t. now what am i going to do with these feelings of sadness for this little boy?? papa
Pray for him!! Pray for him and his family!! I love you, Daddy!!
Oh, Terra. We will definitely pray for his future; whether it be with you, his birth family, or another family. What you're doing is so important, yet so very painful. I cannot even imagine having a little one for as long as you have and then having to let him go. We will be praying for him, and for YOU!
Thanks for sharing that with us Terra. I would think that it would be a most challenging balancing act to love this little guy knowing that at some point your heart is most likely going to be hurt. But I'm pretty sure that you will love without abandon because that's who you are and you know that God has called you to do this service, and He will be there when you need Him. I'll be praying for everyone. Thanks again for sharing.
I love you guys.
Thank you for what you are doing in this little boy's life. I cannot imagine the pain that you will feel when the day comes to let him go.
I think about Josiah and Naomi's foster Mother and Father on a very regular basis and am so thankful for the love they showed them while waiting to come home with us. Many of the wonderful qualities my children have, I am sure come from the love they experienced while in foster care.
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