A day in the life...

... of Connor Thomas Ratzlaff

There are days when I almost forget. I see a strong, tall, happy and athletic boy who brings laughter to everyone around him. He loves to play ball and wrestle and it looks like nothing could hold him down. Strangers would never guess. But when swimming, you can see a small circular bump on his chest - a surgically placed port where his blood is frequently drawn and chemo is run in... and in his home you might notice the tin full of medications that he takes every day... reminders that my 6 year old nephew has cancer.

People frequently ask me how Connor is doing, and I'm thankful that I can answer, "He couldn't be doing better! He's responding to his chemotherapy as well as can be." On top of that, I usually add that Connor is a very brave boy who handles his leukemia with great strength of character. I am so grateful that God has answered our prayers for precious Connor and has spared his life!!

On our recent trip to Oregon, Jim, Kylee and I got to join Connor on one if his appointments up at Doernbechers Children's Hospital. And for an auntee who takes the "Praise God, he's doing so well!" attitude, it was eye opening. Once again, I saw my nephew as a cancer patient, and it broke my heart. We drove the hour drive up to Portland, and Connor was already tired from the several hours of fasting for his procedure and rested most of the way. In the waiting room, we were met by Chris, Connor's chemo pal through Children's Cancer Association. He has been meeting with Connor for the last year and a half for each of his chemotherapy appointments. He provides him with all sorts of crafts and activities to make this scary time a little less scary.

a colored sand and glue project

After we were brought into the back room where Connor was weighed, measured and his stomach pains discussed, we were seated in another room where a nurse came to access his port. Like most kids with cancer, Connor is particular about the process and explained to the nurse how he'd like it done... so that he knew what to expect. As the nurse followed his directions, my sister sat next to her son and plugged his nose to help diminish the awful taste that filled his mouth. He got nauseas and fought back dry heaves and tears filled my eyes. This is all part of the "new normal" that Connor and his family live every day. When the nurse finished, I jumped up next to Connor and, to my surprise, he let me hold his hand. I joined in with my sister in encouraging him for the great job he did. He is amazing. The doctor arrived and discussed Connor's medication doses and side effects and blood levels, which my sister is now an expert at reading and understanding! I am impressed.

Next, I was able to accompany Connor and my sis to the room where he is sedated and they infuse chemotherapy into his spinal chord. Medical professionals filled the room, bringing with them meds and poles and pumps and supplies. The anesthesiologist talked first with Connor about what is going to happen and Connor questioned him about the "yucky" medicine that he puts in his port, that puts him to sleep. My sister sat behind her son, and held him in her arms. It kills me that she has to do this so often. Connor draped one arm around hers, and the other clung to his "lovies", a worn stuffed beaver and a blanket. Brandee reminded him of the chocolate milk shake and pokie prize he'll receive once this is over. Connor smiled and before long, his eyelids were heavy and his head fell back against my sis. Like a pro, she gently eased his head down to the table, kissed her sleeping son and told him how much she loved him, reassuring him that she'll be there as soon as he wakes up. She and I then left the room, leaving her little boy to the doctors and nurses, and grabbed each other in a hug, crying. "That is the hardest part," she told me.

As soon as Connor's procedure is completed, the nurse alerted Brandee and we were all allowed back into his room. He was groggy, but awake enough to notice they did not remove all the tape like they were supposed to. He hates getting the tape ripped off while awake!

Kylee hated seeing Connor like this. She jumped onto the stretcher, massaged his feet then put his shoes on.


Logan and Kylee sat and talked with Connor as he continued to wake up more every moment.

Connor may not be fully alert, but he was hungry! I ran back to the other room to get the lunch he had packed that morning. I passed by a room where a little boy was screaming and yelling, "Don't do that! It hurts! I don't want to get that again!" and his momma is trying to console him, telling him that it will only help to make him better. I remain amazed at the strength it takes for a parent to help their child battle cancer.

Before long, Connor was cleared to go and was assisted, with wobbly legs, to a wheelchair. He munched on his snacks as he rode to the car, and then slept all the way home. He was exhausted from his long day.

Brandee with Connor in front of their second home


Connor was still exhausted at home, so his Daddy carried him in and he spent the evening resting on couch.

It was hard for me to see Connor at his appointment, and to be reminded of how sick he truly is. Although he is doing so very well, he still is fighting the battle and it is very much a part of his family's life. They have shown incredible strength and courage and trust in their Savior as they have traveled down this road and I am so grateful for their example of strong faith.