I have a privilege of teaching little children from God's word on Wednesday mornings at our church. This week, as I was greeting parents and children at the door, a new little boy and his mom appeared and I was told it was their first time. "Wonderful! We're so glad to have you! We have many fun things planned for today!" I smiled and told the little boy. He acted a little shy and his mama was kind, but also seemed a bit nervous.
As he peered into the classroom at the activities I was describing to him, I noticed the mom standing closely by him, not quite sure if she was ready to leave him. I tried to reassure her, "He'll be just fine - we have a fun day planned!"
Then she told me hesitantly, "We're in the process of adopting him and, well, he's been our foster son for a bit but he sometimes struggles with separation anxiety."
I looked deeply into the mom's eyes and my heart swelled with love and compassion for her and her son. No details were necessary... I knew. I knew what her heart was feeling and the words she wasn't saying. I knew he had experienced trauma of some sort - all foster children do. I know all trauma leaves marks and scars on these precious little ones, while they are helpless to defend or protect themselves. I knew that the safety and security that should be a guarantee for all children, were not always available to him. I knew he had also experienced loss - to what extent I do not know, but it does not matter. Foster children are removed from their unsafe home and families, sometimes separated from siblings, sometimes transitioned through many homes trying to keep them safe and protected. Relationships, even if they were unhealthy ones, were severed.
Trauma and loss and just 3 years old.
I looked intently at the mom and said, "I understand completely. I, too, am a foster mom and an adoptive mom. I love him already."
Relief filled her eyes and she told her son God chose this class just for him. It wasn't anything I had done or said whatsoever. There was simply a knowing that was shared between this mama and me. A knowing I'm sad to know, for I wish it didn't exist at all, but a knowing that God used to bond my heart to this mama and her son.
3 comments:
Oh, boy, T -- you did it again. You pierce my heart and my emotions with your vivid descriptions, your insight, your passion for justice, and your tender compassion for those who the rest of us would have been content to judge or shrug off or forget. Thanks for helping us all to be a little less judgmental, a little more compassionate and understanding, a little more likely to be aware of (and take action against) the inequities in our society and the injustices absorbed by our vulnerable children. We are called to be a blessing to the world, and you're showing us what that might look like. Thank you for your insight, and for your example, and for being there yesterday for that little one and his mommy.
Your Dad couldn't have said it better. What a beautiful thing to see your compassion continually being used to reach others. Thanks for the great post.
Love you,
Mom
Oh, Terra, that gave me goosebumps! God is using your experience as a foster mom / adoptive mom in ways you never could have imagined! Only you could have comforted that mama's heart the way you did - and only you could have welcomed that sweet boy into your class "knowing" and understanding him on such a deep level. What a wonderful, wonderful story. Thank you for sharing.
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