our 2010

This year, I didn't get around to the making and writing of the Christmas card and letter. We were so busy and time just seemed to fly by!! But I tried not to feel too guilty, because I figured with a blog and facebook, those who cared to stay updated on our lives already were. But still, probably more for me than anyone else, I decided to write a quick run down as I reflected upon our 2010:

We started the year with our 3 kids, unsure if we'd be ready to foster again for quite some time. Kylee was turning 7 soon and kept us all quite busy with her gymnastics schedule, AWANA church program, and developing friendships in her first grade class. Kaden and Colson were new 5 year olds who were thoroughly enjoying school in the home, and I loved being their teacher. They were also in AWANA and signed up for YMCA basketball. They spent the rest of their time running errands with me, visiting the "grandmas" in the nursing home, going on dates with daddy or playing wildly about, indoor or out.




Jim was (and continues to be) grateful for secure employment in this time of economic crisis. Together we enjoyed working with children at church and helping at the elementary school. Life was full and we were content just being 5 ... or so we thought.

At one point, we realized there was a restlessness within us. We were not content just being "us" and living our little life. If we based our entire worldview upon God and His truth, then we would not find true fulfillment unless we were living our lives completely for Him. We could not stay comfortable - no, we must be willing to risk and sacrifice and give ourselves up for others. It was a hard lesson to learn at a time when our hearts were raw from the good bye to our first foster son of 18 months... but still, we knew God was not finished with us yet.

We reflected upon the passions and strengths that God had placed within us, as well as our limitations with my medical condition and medications. Again, hurting children were whom we felt called to serve and love. We could say no and do nothing, but the problem would not go away. There would still be children in need of love and protection, which God had fully equipped us to give. He had given us so much, how could we say no?

Well, one afternoon in February, we got the call - a tiny newborn in the hospital with multiple needs. Her story broke our hearts and we knew we needed to say yes. Our kids agreed. "We have to say yes, she needs us!" Kylee declared adamantly. So we did. Our time with Tiny has been wonderful and full of joy. She fit right into our family immediately and the good bye, yet to come, will be another heart breaker for certain.


The next lesson of 2010 revolved around a little girl we called Jelly Bean. In March, just after taking in our sweet Tiny, we were called about providing part time care to another precious little girl, 14 months old. We were excited (and a little nervous) to welcome her into our home, but after 2 very busy weekends with her, we were asked to take her in full time. Well, I have a very hard time saying no. We loved her dearly and at first I couldn't see a good reason for saying no except for selfish purposes. How grateful I am for a husband who leads with sound logic. Through lots of prayer and discussion, he helped me to realize that it is OK to say "no" and still be within God's will for our lives. We were however, able to continue to provide respite care for little Jelly Bean two more times, before she was rejoined with her birth mom. It was one of the happy endings and we were grateful to have been a part.


Our summer was full of gymnastics, a little ballet, parks, sleep overs, swimming, bike rides, baseball and cook outs. There is just something about lazy mornings, long days and warm evenings where fireflies sparkle in the dusky air that make summer here in WI magical... if only we could do away with those pesky mosquitoes!


As summer died down and the days grew shorter and cooler, we started to prepare for school... for all 3 of my children. I had an identity crisis. I had joyfully devoted the last 7 years to being at home to care for them and the thought of those years being over rattled me to the core. I grieved. Who was I? What in the world would I do with myself?? Very slowly and tearfully, God reminded me of who I was in Him. Yes, this would be an unwelcome change for me, but He would be with me. Eventually, I accepted the fact that even though my favorite years of mothering were over, there were many wonderful years of parenting ahead to look forward to... (at least I hope there are!!).

At this same time, our Kylee girl began her first season of gymnastics competition. It started out a little rough as her tender hearted, gentle personality was not consistent with that of a fierce competitor, but after a few meets, she was tough to beat. Through it all, she learned many life lessons that we are so grateful for. She was part of a team and built wonderful friendships; she was an encourager and comforter; her confidence grew; and she learned that her purpose in life is much more than her scores at her meets... she is the child of God - valued, cherished and dearly loved no matter how she performs.


On top of that, I also had the privilege, once again, to help with the kids Christmas Program at church. I loved working with the kids each week and was very proud of all their hard work!! Kylee was so excited that she was old enough to be a part of it this year, although she and I both had to miss the first of 2 performances due to her state championship.

Near the end of the year, we prepared to send our Tiny girl home. I found myself completely unwilling to let her go and fought desperately to keep her with us. However, there was another major lesson to be learned. Not my will, but His. I had so stop fighting for what I wanted and accept what the Lord had planned for the precious girl we so dearly loved. In the end, we learned that she would be staying with us a few months longer, but she would still leave us one day. It will be horrible to part with her, but we consider ourselves blessed to have had the opportunity to be her family for the time God has allowed.

The last major life lesson of the year, just before 2010 was to end, was initiated by one more call from the county. An unborn baby, already at extremely high risk for multiple problems, would be needing a home should he or she make it into the world alive. Because of the potential for major issues, we were afraid. There are so many unknowns. However, we were reminded that when we walk with God, we are to " be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9)." Through prayer and heart conviction, we felt strongly that we are to be the family to rejoice over, anticipate, prepare for and love this new little baby should he/she need us. So, we wait eagerly for any and every word on this new little life.

We finished the year celebrating with both of our families, first in California and then Oregon. It was so marvelous to see everyone and to enjoy time together as a family. We are so blessed.

2010 was a good year, a refining year. There was much the Lord was able to take us through to make us lean more heavily upon Him and to grow more in our knowledge and understanding of who He is and what He desires from us. However, there are many more lessons to be learned and we're ready .... so let's bring on 2011!!