our world of "wait and see"

The more experiences we gain in the world of foster care, the more we learn to be flexible. We can never depend upon the dates, time lines, words or predictions that are given by the court or social workers, even if they are provided with optimism and the best of intentions. There are just far too many factors and far too many players that contribute to the final outcome. The journey we take with each and every child is completely unpredictable. We constantly walk a fine line in trying not to be tossed about by every word we hear, yet also trying to prepare the little minds and hearts of our children for changes that will greatly impact their lives. Most of the time our words to them end in, "So, we will wait and see what God has for us!"

Wait and see.

That is our world right now. Four times, court dates have come and gone for our Tiny girl with no changes. Just more time to wait and see what happens. The birth parents, district attorney, judge, social workers, and the attorney assigned to our little one all play a part in when, how, and what happens in the future of "our" baby girl. But she does not. Neither do we. So, we wait and see what the outcome is based upon all the aforementioned players while we continue to live life to the fullest with her as a part of our family. Wait and see....

In December, we got a call about a baby at risk who would need not only a foster home, but an adoptive home. He was completely unwanted. Would he even survive to his day of birth? Would he be healthy? It was another game of wait and see, yet he needed someone to commit to him and we were grateful to have such an opportunity. We have loved him and prayed for him since we first knew of him. We have celebrated every update on his growth and development that has been reported to us over the past several months. We anxiously awaited the call to tell us that he had arrived. Days came and went in our world of wait and see and finally, the day came. "He's here! He was born last week and is healthy. With support and supervision he has been allowed to be discharged with his mom."

Hmmm... not what we expected. Last week? Why weren't we called? Discharged with his mom? My, how the tides had changed. At first, I felt crushed and disappointed at such news. My arms had ached to hold him and I couldn't wait to gaze upon his precious face and tell him how loved and how desired he was. But now... we wait and see. Will his mom be able to care for him with the help and supervision provided? Will she able to provide him with safety and protection? Will she change her mind again and decide it is too much to handle? Of course, we wait and see.

As I cried out to God after such news rocked my world, He really spoke to my heart.

It was not a mistake. Have not your prayers for him been answered? He is healthy, safe, strong, ALIVE! His mom has had a change of heart and rather than wanting to dispose of him, now has some value for his life!!! Is that not worth celebration and rejoicing?? The part you have played in his life has not been in vain... he needed you and I heard your prayers for him. Please see My hand in this.

God is so good... so patient with my inability to understand His ways. He reminds me constantly that it is HE that I need trust. He gave me reason to rejoice, even though I wanted to feel crushed. This baby boy is alive and well! Thank you to all who have prayed for him!

So what does the future look like for us? But, of course, we will wait and see. Tiny's court dates are currently scheduled for the end of April...if they happen and if they rule for termination of parental rights, we will have one week left with her before she joins her birth sister and adoptive family. As for "baby boy", we will also wait and see how his mom does. He is hers and she has every right in the world to try and be the best mommy she can be for him. We want to encourage her to do so, at the same time knowing that it will be hard for her and he still may need us at some point for a short while or on to forever.

How grateful we are to have an incredible Sovereign Lord to make the unknown and often muddy paths straight before us, as we walk one foot in front of the other through this crazy world of wait and see.