unpredictability

Today, I am hurting for the many children in the US (around 500,000) who are stuck in the foster care system, including our own, precious baby girl. Even though I am a part of the foster care system, and I love the little ones placed in my home to pieces, I am not always a fan of the way it works. We do it because, as Christians, we feel it is our duty to provide care for the fatherless and defenseless. However, it is not easy. Our state foster care system runs in such a way that children are removed from their homes or families because they are not safe. They may be abused, neglected, born addicted to drugs, or a combination of any of the above. They need a safe place to call home until 1) their family of origin can become responsible enough to provide safe care for their child/children or 2) their family of origin proves themselves incapable of providing a safe home and, therefore, parental rights are terminated (most often unwillingly) and the children become available for adoption.

What becomes complicated is that "in between time" when birth parents are either working to meet their conditions for their child/children to be returned, or failing to do so. They get so many chances! And while they get chance after chance, their child/children remain in a temporary foster home. Older kids know this full well and it is not easy for them to be displaced from their home, placed in another (even if it's a great home!) and just wait... and wait... and wait for their parents to come around, or fail to do so. They want so badly to be with their family - even if it's not the greatest - because that is, after all, their family. The little ones we take in are often unaware of all that is going on around them, but day by day they are loved and cared for by a family they consider their own, bonding to a mother that they have no other reason to believe is not their own. It happened with A. and it's happened with Tiny. So, after months and months of belonging to the only family they have ever known, they are often torn from it to return to their birth family. We are one of many foster families who would gladly adopt the children in our care should that become a possibility, but that's not always the case.

Frustration abounds on the part of the foster parents as the birth parents fail, but are given more chances and these precious ones sit in limbo. The timing of how long a child will be in a foster home fluctuates daily, based upon the birth parents performance. "They are doing great, we'll move this right along and reunify the child with their parents soon" can quickly change to "These parents are completely incapable of providing safe care, we're going to fast track this to adoption" and then bounce back to the first statement within a matter of weeks. It's an emotional roller coaster ride, to say the least, and, once again, the poor children sit in limbo.

Today has been a day where frustration abounds and our hearts hurt for the future of our girl. We want the world for her - a forever family to love and adore her and help her to become all that her Maker has intended for her to be. We were on track to have that hope fulfilled... but the plans have changed, once again. Depending on the Judge's ruling at our next court date, this little princess might have many, many more months to wait. I argued with the social worker that this couldn't possibly be in the best interest of this baby girl that I adore... no - this cannot happen, not again! But, I have no power in this fight and my opinion holds no weight. However, we belong to the One whose power created the universe. So we trust and pray and.... wait.