a flood of memories

Goodness. This morning Colson asked me if we could watch the Baby Praise DVD as the boys played in the family room. Innocent enough. As soon as the soft and gentle praise music filled the air, sung by sweet voices of children, I was overcome by memories of a few years past, when the songs of this particular DVD filled the rooms of our first little brick house on an almost constant basis.

During that time in my life, I was "mommy" to a one and a half year old little girl, and premature, newborn twin boys. My entire sleep deprived existence seemed to center around bottles and diapers. I was rarely seen in anything but sweats, could go days without a shower, and my hair seemed as though it would be stuck forever in a ponytail. We were brand new to the area and barely knew a single soul. It was also our first frigid Midwestern winter. My days were long and hard and lonely. Cries from one little one or another could often be heard in our home as I scurried about trying to meet all their needs, sometimes with exhausted tears rolling down my own cheeks. Between trying to stay warm and trying to stay awake, I became addicted to coffee. I can remember one early morning, before even the sun dared to awaken, I filled a baby bottle with coffee to feed my infant son. Fortunately, it was a mistake I quickly discovered, but it remains a poignant reminder of the constant fatigue during that phase of my life.

At that time, when my mother-in-law blessed us with the gift of the Baby Praise DVD, I thought it was a kind gesture. I never knew it would become such a life giving, soul enriching tool in my life. I have always been so inspired by worship music and have found that worshipping, as well as being in the great outdoors, are two of the greatest motivators to get me into a place of intimacy with my Savior. While enjoying the outdoors wasn't necessarily an option at that time, I could fill my home with music and phrases like, "You are my all in all" and "Nothing compares to the promise I have in You" and "You give the healing and grace our hearts always hunger for". The DVD had images of bubbles, flowers, shapes and children playing that seemed to captivate my own children as the music nourished my spirit. I could start playing the DVD in the wee hours of the morning and play it until I fell into bed at night and never tire of the songs, nor the way God used them to minister to my heart. Who would have thought?

That season of mommy-hood has passed, as have several others. Though I feel sad that the baby stage passed so quickly (looking back it feels like a big blur of activity), I also look forward to the many that have yet to come... I think. In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying where my kids are at and am grateful that they now gladly listen to and join in my worship songs!!