A collection of beautiful flower clips lay strewn across our dining room table, reminding us of God's great work upon our hearts, a response requiring a HUGE step of faith, and then... a closed door.
Months ago, Jim and I felt a tugging on our hearts towards 2 older children in a far away country who were found starving and begging on the streets. They were orphaned (by war, disease or abandonment) and had been taken in by an orphanage, waiting for a family. We wept and prayed for them. Our kids joined us in praying for these children to have a family come for them. Soon, we started wondering if they had grasped our hearts so completely because we were meant to be their family, though international adoption was not something that we had planned for. We started losing sleep and spent endless hours throughout the night in prayer. There were many fears. We had many excuses. And then God brought this jewel into our lives:
We couldn't get it out of our heads. These were God's children and they needed someone to come for them. Did it make much sense to adopt 2 more children? Not really. We didn't necessarily need a bigger family... but there were children who needed a family. Did we have the funds necessary to pay the adoption fees? No, but God has ways of providing when we follow His heart and His leading.
Suddenly all the "excuses" we had didn't measure up to a child without a mom and dad to tuck them in at night, going days on end without being told, "I love you." The car we need to replace could wait another several years; the vacations we dreamt of taking with the kids weren't really necessary. But providing children with a forever love and commitment of a family? That would be something that would matter for all of eternity. God made it clear to us that these children were worthy of making whatever sacrifices necessary to bring them "home" and give them a family. God doesn't call His followers to do the easy and comfortable things (though our lives have been pretty comfortable), but He asks us to be willing to lay down our lives.
So, contact was made with the director of the adoption agency and paperwork was obtained to start the laborious work of international adoption of these 2 African siblings. Friends graciously wrote letters of recommendation and we started researching fundraising ideas. Kylee wanted to make and sell flower clips to raise money for the adoption of her siblings-to-be and she got started right away.
We fell in love with their faces and smiles and watched the little video clip provided countless times, memorizing their sweet voices. We longed to hold them in our arms and started picturing them in our home, their laughter mingling with the others.
With the paperwork completed to officially commit to these 2 children, we excitedly (and nervously!) took it to the post office and mailed it off with our first of many fees.
Then, we awaited with anticipation the responses from home study agencies we had contacted and applied for. When the responses came, they were the same - home studies were not being completed for the country that the children were from due to loose regulations that had led to recent corruption in adoptions. There were NO agencies in our area willing to complete a home study for this country at this time. In addition, the adoption agency the children were listed under was "non-Hague"accredited (adhering to stricter regulations and practices) and by the end of the year, all non-Hague agencies would not be allowed to facilitate adoptions until accreditation was achieved. We tried to find another way around it all, but there was none. Such news devastated us, as it was a clear and definite closed door on the ability to bring these little ones home.
We are still processing all that this journey has held, and wonder what it means for our future. We know of Abraham's testing of faith when God called him to be willing to lay down his own son Isaac's life. God certainly has used this time to redirect our desires and priorities and to move us to a place to be all the more willing to lay down that which the world says we need. And yet, we ache for the kids we developed a love and passion for. For now, as we care for the 7 God has placed in our home at this time, we wait upon the Lord. We continue to trust His plan and His purpose to create beauty in our family, in His time and His way.
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