A foretaste

Yesterday I said good bye. It was only for two hours, but it felt like some of the longest two hours of my life. The baby boy that I've taken care of for two weeks now was bathed, fed, changed, packed up and bundled safely into his car seat. And, of course, as I whispered, "I love you" into his tiny ear, he had to flash one of his million dollar smiles at me. Then, I buckled him into the car of the social worker, who was to take him to the supervised visit with his family. Tears filled my eyes (though, I must admit, since I'd heard of the visit the night before tears had come easily) and my heart was reminded of what my head already knew - this precious little boy was not my own.

I never imagined how quickly I would fall in love with him. I never imagined how easily he would become a part of our family. I never imagined how well my kids would take to him and how naturally it would be for them to love, adore, protect and care for him. I never imagined how hard it would be to say goodbye and, after knowing every detail of his little life, having no idea (for 2 hours) what his experiences would be. And this goodbye was just brief - I cannot imagine the grief that will fill our hearts and the emptiness that will fill our home when we say a final goodbye.

So, why, many people ask, do we choose do put ourselves through this agony? Why do we choose to love and possibly let go when it would be easier to stay uninvolved all together? The answers are endless, but probably the most important is that Christ has done it for us. He has called us by name, taken us into His arms, and loved us so much that He gave His life for us. Did it hurt? Yes. Do my sinful words, actions and thoughts continue to hurt Him? Yes, but He continues to love me and pour Himself out for me.

Secondly, there is a great need. Foster children, in the midst of family crisis, need a place to go that is safe and secure, loving and committed to their needs until either their homes are secure enough to return to, or they are able to be adopted into a forever family home. It was God who created the family unit as the most remarkable, yet most basic social unit in all of existence. If He can use our family unit to somehow meet the needs of His precious, displaced children, then I pray that He will.

Lastly, our family is learning so much!! When we were first going through the licensing process, God provided encouragement on a day I needed it through the words of a man who worked for our insurance agent, of all places. When I had called to make an appointment to have our paperwork signed for our licensing agency, the man said, "My parents were foster parents for 21 years and it was the best way to teach us how to love others." I have now been blessed to see those words in action. My kids are loving in ways I never thought they could, when it's not always easy. They are sharing, sacrificing, caring, serving and allowing the baby's needs to be met before their own. Are they perfect? Absolutely not!! I will never pretend they are, but, like myself, they are on a life long journey of learning to be more like their Savior and I could not ask for more!!

A very good friend sent me this post during the very 2 hours that our baby was gone. The author, who was my babysitter when I was a little girl, cared for a little boy from Sierra Leone for 9 months as he went through multiple procedures and surgeries. She also is an amazing writer and I love what she writes about remembering him.