For the first 2 weeks we had Tiny, I rarely let her out of my arms - she needed to learn to bond and attach as well as experience trust and security. In recent weeks, I have occasionally allowed her into the arms of another, if only for a few short moments. On one such occasion, a woman was holding her and was asked by another, "who is the mother?"
"Oh, she's just a foster baby," was the woman's painful response.
"Just a foster baby?!?!" I screamed inside as I approached the woman and let her know I was ready to hold my baby again. I am sure she didn't mean her words to be as calloused as they sounded - a foster mom's role can be a delicate one, often misunderstood by others - but, still, they cut this foster mom's heart to the core.
This sweet baby girl is not a lost, forgotten, orphaned little soul with no one to claim her as their own. Rather, she is a precious blessing, full of indescribable value and God given worth. Tiny is absolutely loved, adored, cherished and treasured beyond measure. When God places a child in my home, I become the mama.
True, I may not have birthed her. I may not get to have the happily ever after ending that I hope for. But for however long God grants me the presence of this little girl in my home, I am the arms that feed her, change her, cuddle her, rock her... I am the voice that sings to her, soothes her, prays over her and speaks up in her defense... I am the woman whose heart breaks over her difficult past and unknown future and the one who sobs at the thought of her future not including me... I get to be the one to rejoice for a wonderful burp, at that first smile, or as I watch the numbers on the scale increase week by week... I am the mama bear who will protect this child at any cost. I have the privilege of being her mama and I will proudly claim her as my own.
She may have needed to come into the foster care system, but it was certainly no fault of her own. In fact, the very circumstances that brought her into my home cause me to hold her ever more tightly and love her ever more deeply. I am wholeheartedly committed to her. She is most certainly my girl - my sweet 11 pounds of precious!!
3 comments:
I love your insight on life. Thanks for sharing your heart so freely.
Beautiful Terra. I'm glad you shared this, as I always find it helpful to know the viewpoint of another. As I've learned through Bella's situation, comments that are flippant or just off the cuff can often be wounding to the mother or father. I am so conscious now to be careful of what comes out of my mouth. Thank you Terra. We love Tiny too!
Oh, Terra. All I can say is goosebumps, tears, and more goosebumps! You are such a special woman, and what you are doing is absolutely incredible. I am so glad that sweet baby girl is in no other place than your loving, protective arms. She is so so blessed to have you as her mama for as long as the Lord allows. Love you, girl.
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